Report: Jimmy Kimmel Being Replaced

The National Enquirer is using this public apology to claim his career is ending. The tabloid calls him “disgraced,” and says his present summer absence from TV may be permanent. According to anonymous and vaguely named “sources,” “ABC execs… are already seeking a replacement.” Their first choices are Melissa McCarthy, Kevin Hart, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and Ryan Seacrest.

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